Oh Conan the Destroyer, how you bulge
With spray tan muscles bursting at the seams,
My need for epic mayhem you indulge,
This film is 80's cheese that golden gleams.
Though of the questing virgin you lose track,
(She's carried off by smoke, she screams a lot)
At least you've got Grace Jones to save your ass,
And sometimes there's the semblance of a plot.
Wilt Chamberlain looms seven feet or more,
But he does not have fabulous ugg boots,
Yours are cross-gartered, stylish through the gore,
You've got a loincloth, you don't need a suit.
Lackey's you'll slay in prolific amounts,
As long as no one asks to keep count.
With spray tan muscles bursting at the seams,
My need for epic mayhem you indulge,
This film is 80's cheese that golden gleams.
Though of the questing virgin you lose track,
(She's carried off by smoke, she screams a lot)
At least you've got Grace Jones to save your ass,
And sometimes there's the semblance of a plot.
Wilt Chamberlain looms seven feet or more,
But he does not have fabulous ugg boots,
Yours are cross-gartered, stylish through the gore,
You've got a loincloth, you don't need a suit.
Lackey's you'll slay in prolific amounts,
As long as no one asks to keep count.
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