Dear shoplifter's, some tips for when you steal:
First, don't. That makes less stress for all involved.
But if you're set on acting like a heel,
Some things not to do when the beeping's solved:
Don't say you know Clint Eastwood, he won't help.
Don't say someone else stuck it down your pants,
Don't threaten us with bad reviews on Yelp,
Don't come back hoping for a second chance.
When it's time for your hob-nob with the cops
About the hardback zipped inside your coat,
Explaining that a hooker ripped you off
Will really only hurt your case by rote.
One more: stealing the Bible for your soul,
Won't help you much when karma takes a poll.
First, don't. That makes less stress for all involved.
But if you're set on acting like a heel,
Some things not to do when the beeping's solved:
Don't say you know Clint Eastwood, he won't help.
Don't say someone else stuck it down your pants,
Don't threaten us with bad reviews on Yelp,
Don't come back hoping for a second chance.
When it's time for your hob-nob with the cops
About the hardback zipped inside your coat,
Explaining that a hooker ripped you off
Will really only hurt your case by rote.
One more: stealing the Bible for your soul,
Won't help you much when karma takes a poll.
